


Will I see you again?

by Marsonist



Category: Day6 (Band), GOT7
Genre: 2Jae are the bad guys, Blood and Gore, But they don't think they're bad, Caring Jae, Crime Scenes, Crimes & Criminals, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Guilty Pleasures, Hospitalization, Hurt YoungK, Jaehyungparkian are fluffies who support each other, Knives, M/M, Murder, POV First Person, Porn With Plot, Psychological Torture, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Sadistic Youngjae, Simp Jaebeom, Trauma, in a healthier way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:07:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25700050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marsonist/pseuds/Marsonist
Summary: Youngjae is crazy, Jaebeom is crazy for Youngjae and for some reason he is willing to risk it all, his family, his job, his own well being to be by his side, even if it's dangerous, even if he gets killed.Younghyung falls for Youngjae's charms too, but soon he finds out about the net of lies. Is it too late to escape...? Can Jaehyung help him this time?
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 13
Kudos: 19





	1. Part 01

**Author's Note:**

> This is something soooooo different of what I use to write, let me share it with you all but don't think I gave up real romance, I just feel like I want to write stuff like this too.
> 
> Please share all your thoughts with me  
> Tell me if I need special help or not alskjkfalsdjf

Why am I doing this again? He is not what everyone thinks, I do know his real nature, but… I find myself fascinated by him. Everything started with that crime scene long ago, the first time I helped him. Yet, I'm here again, hiding another body.

I already know his routine. It starts with a call from an unsaved number only I know. He tells me to meet him at his place and even if my belly tickles in excitement, I already know what he did. Is always the same.

I don't need to knock on the door since I have a spare key. I get inside and I don't need to call him because I know he is in his dark bedroom, tears in his eyes falling from his beautiful cheeks; his date was a douche again. I just want to hug him and tell him everything will be alright.

I ignore the red in his shirt and the wet on his floor. I ignore the knife in the night table and the silent body lying in front of him. This is the 6th. Six times he has done the same. Six times I've done the same.

I ask him why he did it pretending I don't know the reason and he only hugs me tightly. He hugs me and pulls from my pelvis to lie down with him. I ask him again and he just buries his face on my clean shirt.

He knows my weak spots by memory, he still explores all my body to find more only to have me in the palm of his hand. He has me though. He easily grabs my shirt and pulls it up. He easily grabs my pants and pulls them down. I don't really want to stop at this point.

“Wait-- wait a moment”

“What?” he says impatiently.

“This one has his eyes still open…”

“It doesn't matter” he bites my neck and I moan softly in his ears, his legs pull me more in between them and he also moans when our cocks touch. "This way will be more exciting, don't you think?” he smiles and I fall again in his infinite game.

I'm so addicted to this feeling and it’s more than obvious that he also has a problem. But I don't care, the sounds he makes because of me, his shiny chest, his wet hair, the warmth inside of him, his nails and teeth printed in my skin… Yes. Yes! Yes, he is right; the pleasure I feel knowing that I'm the one on his bed, I'm the one making him scream my name, and not that one lying on the floor, that one who's only able to watch us consuming ourselves over and over again.

Is dangerous, but we end up so tired to even look at each other's eyes. I can see the contour of his face and his smile, his breath going back to normal, his naked body full of moles that's only mine. It feels so good to have his body over mine.

I wonder… I just wonder why? Why me? Why am I not dead yet?

“Can I ask why you did it?” I dare to break the silence. I was comfortable, but I want to know.

"He was annoying and weird. He touched me without asking me… and I didn't like it” he says with his face against the mattress, I can hear him clearly even so.

“I don't really care but… I want you to know… that I would come even if you don't kill anyone. You know that, right?” I want to make that clear. Inside of me, I want him to… I don't know. Love me?

“Yeah…”

"So… why do you keep rejecting me? You go on dates with different people and if you don't like them…”

“It's fun this way” he removes from me, he is uncomfortable now.

“I can't deny it but…” I truly can't.

“I don't want to date you. What if I get bored and then…”

"Will you murder me?”

“I can't be sure…”

“I just think… even if I like to be with you, for how long are you planning to keep up with this? People might get suspicious and then--”

"Are you getting tired of me?"

"No…” I truly don't. “I don't want to lose you”

"Then…” he looks up and before we connect our eyes, he turns around, he sits giving me his back. I know I shouldn't touch him right now. “Then don't ask more questions. I could find someone else to help me if I want to.”

“Do you though?” I tease him.

“Yes.” he crosses his arms pretending to be offended.

He is looking at the other guy, those open eyes looking back at us with blood all over the place from his chest, I can see the many stabs and I'm already starting to think what would I write in the forense report. I never thought I would love my job this much.

He is now looking at me.

“What?” I smile asking nothing in exchange.

“I love you” he says and my smile fades away in shock.

He looks down away from me, he stands up, grabs the knife from the table and goes out of the room, to the bathroom. The usual routine again, he will shower the blood off his body and I will have time to take care of the dead guy. I grab my special equipment that's in my backpack and with my gloves I finally close his eyes. That's what he gets for touching my man… And I laugh because of this silly thought.

“I often think you are crazier than me, you know?” he calls me from the door. I can see he is all clean now. He looks like a normal guy I would flirt with.

“I think it’s too late to go back by now, so I just enjoy what life brings” I say sincerely.

“You are one of your kind, Jaebeom…"

“Yeah… that's why you love me, don't you?"

“You need to go. Now"

“Will I see you again?" I secretly wish, even if deep inside I know this is wrong.

“Most probably yes…” he confesses.

I truly hope for him to call me just because he wants to and not to hide another body. I wouldn't mind, I have chosen this path already and I don't think I will give up just yet.

Even if he ends up killing me… I think… Why would it be so bad if I'll be with him anyway?


	2. Part 02

[ YJ's POV ]

I remember the last time I felt interested in a person like this. I thought it was bad luck but here I am again, getting confused with another guy. This time is not like in the clinic though, is as if I was a normal guy flirting with a workmate.

I'm having fun but Is not good at all. Because I know at the end I might want to kill him.

Or maybe… Maybe just this time, I won't.

“I had fun. Really” he says smiling at the ground while we are walking to my place. Why he hasn't held my hand?

“You thought it wouldn't be fun?” I tease him and his face gets red. Why does he make me feel like this?

“You live in a lonely area, you know?" I know, this way I can have all the fun I want.

“I told you it was far”

“I don't mind. I wanted to make sure you were home safe. I heard of many missing people recently. Have you heard about it?”

“I heard something on the radio… But you don't have to worry about me, I'm not an defenseless baby”

“I know, but… these murders are so weird. Seven people seem to be connected. They went missing for two days and in the third one, they appeared dead with no signals to track the guilty…”

“You seem quite interested”

“I study criminology, I'm not a professional yet but I hope one day…”

I interrupt him, I can't hear anything more. My hands start to itch. “This is my place. Thank you for a wonderful evening” I say politely.

“What a nice place…” he looks at my door and then he looks at me. This is usually the moment when they kiss me and push me against the wall. The moment when I open the door breathlessly to guide them to my bed.

But he doesn't.

“See you tomorrow then. Get inside and stay safe”

“Don't you wanna come in?” What am I even saying?

“I… I do. But I'm not that type of guy, you know?”

“Not even a kiss? Am I not interesting to you?” He is making me crazy.

“Yes you are...” He is getting closer. Yes. Please, just kiss me. "But I'm not a one-night-stand”

“You're a weird guy…" I say getting even hotter, I'm looking at his face up close, his sharp eyes, his cheekbones, his smile; I want him so bad… “I'm not a one-night-stand either… But I've been wanting to kiss you from so long ago"

He grabs me from the back of my neck and I move one step forward. I want to devour him but even if I place my lips with urgence, he makes me slow down. He makes it clear that he is the one in control. I can't do anything but let him drive me through the sensuality of his movements. 

One minute or one hour, I can't tell the difference but it lasts long enough to miss him when we part away. I want him more now. I wonder how his body will feel above me, I want to see him breathless with his hair all over his face. I would need a big knife after it. I'm getting hard now.

“Goodbye now…” and he goes away.

What a disappointment. Maybe he could tell I was going to kill him. Which I doubt. It's been so long since I came back home alone. Most of the time they are so excited that I let them in. I thought most men liked to go straight forward into sex.

I get inside, I take off my shoes and jacket to put them on the floor. I wonder what I can have for dinner tonight. Or I'll better go to sleep so I can forget what happened minutes earlier.

“Who was that?” a well known voice says but I still jump surprised because I didn't know he was here. I don't have the energy, I don't want to be mad at him.

“What are you doing here? I didn't call you”

“I wanted to know how you were doing. I see you're doing well"

“There's no bodies today; you can go home” I ignore his hurt eyes, I don't want to deal with his feelings right now. He is not forced to be here with me, he can go whenever he wants.

“I was worried…”

“Well, you don't have to. I can defend myself and you know that”

“I was wondering if you were feeling lonely”

“I'm always lonely!” I yell. I don't understand why Jaebeom is being this annoying. “Why do you think I'm always with a different man? Why do you think we only have sex after I kill someone? What do you want? Sex? Alright!” I say angry but I think that's what he wants, to see me frustrated.

I push him to the next door where the living room is, the big old couch where he is lying down right now. I take off my shirt, my pants and socks, I take off his shirt and sit over his lap. I was hard already so now that I'm angry it's even worse.

But he… HE IS NOT MOVING.

“What's wrong with you?” I cry, my hands hold his neck; he feels so good. “Don't you want me? Am I boring? Are you regretting everything?”

He is not saying a thing but he grabs my both wrists to push me down on the couch. He stands up just to unbuckle his belt and take off his pants. He is doing it too slow. Please, hurry up, I beg you.

He grabs my wrists again and wraps them together with his belt. I see. He wants to try something new. I'm getting in a good mood already. Still, I'm shivering; I'm about to explode.

I'm kneeling on the floor with my hands tied on my back and my shoulders and head resting on the couch. My butt is all the way on the air just waiting for him to take me deep. His fingers have done their job so now hurry up. Please, hurry up!

“Promise me you will kill him too”

“Fuck, Jaebeom, can you hurry?” I'm choking, I need him inside. Now!

“Promise me I'll be the only one fucking you. Say the magic words…” he grabs my butt, he pulls me up and I can feel his dick.

“I will kill you if you don't put that thing inside. Is it that difficult?”

“Say it…”

“I promise…” the tip gets inside, fuck, he is smiling, I can see his damned smirk from the corner of my eyes. “You're an asshole”

“Your asshole is the one I want… Come on, you're almost there”

“I will kill him next time I see him. The only dick I want is yours.” I moan his dirty name over and over again at his thrusting rhythm.

My words seem to be the fuel he needed to fuck me hard, just the way I like. Is he mad at me? I need to make him angry more often. He turns my body to the other side, he licks my chest and I embrace him with my legs. I want to grab his neck and squeeze him until he is out of breath but I can't move my hands.

I feel excited. I… I wonder. I wonder how I will compensate him after this.

He bites my shoulders and arms as if I was his dinner and he didn't have lunch. I'll need to wear a sweater tomorrow at work, these marks won't come out easily. Or maybe I shouldn't go; I feel like I won't be able to walk after this.

I passed out after one of the best orgasms in my life. Last thing I see is Jaebeom's ear from him also passing out above me. He says words to me I can't understand. If I only knew, maybe nothing would've happened. If I wasn't so tired, maybe I would have killed him at that exact moment.

Right now though, even if I killed no one today, I feel satisfied.


	3. Part 03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ YK's POV ]

I hung up the phone for the fifth time, I can't believe Youngjae doesn't answer me. I have left voice messages telling him about the danger but I'm not calm enough, today there's a report of the killer seen by his sector, what an inconvenient coincidence. What if I go to his house? I know where it is now. He says he can defend himself and I believe in him, but I don't want to stay still, to wait for news and do nothing.

It's 7am… We would have heard anything if someone was murdered… but bodies usually appeared 2 days later. I feel like throwing up. I can't stand here anymore.

My heart goes crazy whenever I'm with him; he is someone out of this world. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I'll always remember the first time I made him laugh, it was his real laugh and not that one he shows to the doctor in the clinic. He takes therapy and I know pretty much everything about him, he suffered a lot as a kid with a sick mother and a missing father, their hardworking siblings took care of him but he was always alone.

It was awkward at the beginning, I thought he hated me. But eventually, we got closer, we talked a lot of times after his sessions and usually I would walk with him to the stop bus. Just yesterday I walked with him all the way over his house.

I'm an idiot. Why didn't I stay? Maybe I was afraid, because… well… I've never done it with a guy but… Not all the way I mean but… I regret it now. Maybe I wouldn't be this worried.

A text message drops by and the logical side of my brain doesn't work anymore. Is a text from Youngjae telling me he saw someone by his window and he turned off the phone for a while. I tell him to lock the door and wait for me, he says he is scared and I tell him to not worry I will hurry up.

I tell my roommate I'm going out and before he tells me anything, I jump on my bike to where he is. Youngjae lives quite far away, he is an independent guy; I admire him. I just want to make him company, to show him he doesn't have to be alone, that I'm here for him. I'm happy he asked my help.

I arrived at his house in a short time; it's 8am already. I knock on his door which is open. I call his name, I shouldn't enter without his permission, but he doesn't answer. I think the worst. I told him to lock the door, why is it open. I'm starting to freak out.

I get inside, I call him again, his house is small enough for a single person I guess, I see his clothes and two pairs of shoes on the entrance floor, there is a short distance from the door to the next room which is the living room, and I see him. Oh no.

My worst nightmare: he is full naked, one of his hands is tied with a black belt, there's many scratches and bites on his arms and legs, all over his body actually. It looks horrible, I want to cry. He looks unconscious, I yell his name worried what if he is dead but he is breathing. I run to help him, to wake him up anyhow, last thing I see is Youngjae's face sleeping and then a hit in the back of my head, the sound of a thousand bees in my ear that left me in a black nowhere.

“God, please, protect Youngjae…” my voice escapes as I'm falling on the floor. I'm sorry Youngjae.

I wake up again, I'm tied with ropes, sitting in a chair apparently in the middle of a room. My head hurts like hell… It takes me time to open my eyes and take a look at the room I'm in. There's a bed and a night table, no windows, just one door in front of me. Regardless, it must be a bedroom. Is so dark.

Oh no. Youngjae!

“Youngjae! Where are you? Please, tell me you can hear me!” I scream and my throat hurts; I do it one more time. “Youngjae!”

The walls seem to be soundproof, I hear nothing from the outside. What kind of maniac would adapt a bedroom like this? I can't move, the chair is like hammered into the ground. The more I see the room the more freaked out I feel. The smell is something so strange I don't want to imagine what things are done here…

I have to get out of here. Youngjae, please be safe. Why didn't I stay yesterday?

I have to find a way out. There is nothing much; the bed has sheets and two pillows, on the night table there's a clock (it's a few minutes passing 9 am) there is also a black device which looks like a phone. I don't believe that thing is a phone though, why would they leave me with that?

What if Youngjae is dead, what would be the point?

"Youngjae… I'm sorry...”

“Can you shut up?” I hear him. Youngjae, I feel like crying again. Where is he? Is the black device from before. Is it a walkie-talkie? I'm just happy I can hear his voice.

“I'm just singing while making you breakfast. Or lunch since you woke up so late” there is another voice.

"Who's fault is that?!”

“Yours.”

“What??? Why??? Oh… Because you were mad yesterday?”

He sounds… normal. This can't be a live voice, doesn't it? I saw him before all tied up… Was it a dream? No, I'm freaking tied right now, something for sure is not okay. They sound like they know each other.

“Can you walk?" the other guy asks.

“Of course I can, your dick is not that powerful, you know?”

“That's not what you said yesterday…”

I feel like throwing up. This is so out of reality, I'm here desperate to free myself and these two people are like everything is normal. I know for sure that's Youngjae's voice, he even laughs and speaks out loud with this other guy. I don't understand what's going on. The mic seems to be so near their mouths, I can hear them kiss and is not a really clean kiss: it's a mix between fluids and moanings. Is it really the same Youngjae I kissed yesterday night?

“Don't open up my legs, what's wrong with you? You wanna break me?"

“I know you like it like that!”

“Yeah but don't you think I need some rest, you fucking beast? I don't want to go to the hospital and tell the doctor my boyfriend broke my ass”

His boyfriend????  My head is full of empty thoughts, I feel the floor spinning, I feel like passing out. My chest is heavy… He kissed me last night… This can't be Youngjae, this sweet boy who smiles brighter that the sun… I thought… I thought…

It looks like it's shocking for them too; they say nothing for a full minute. The recording finished? This must be an edited voice doesn't it?

“Are we…?”

“I don't know, Jaebeom. It slipped out… I'm--” This guy's name is Jaebeom…

“Say it again… the "L” word and I'll say it back to you this time”

“I… I can't right now…”

“Why?”

“Yesterday I was…”

“What...?”

“I felt strange… and I was mad… YoungK was…”

“But what about me…?” this Jaebeom guy snaps, “I never-- I-- I never asked you to do anything, I was always happy if you called because I was able to see you over and over again. I never questioned your reasons, I never told you it's wrong. I thought it was enough, I really did, but yesterday? I was furious!”

“Do you mean jealous?”

“Call it whatever! But-- What do I need to do to make you understand that I only want you? You don't have to do all this by yourself, I just want to be here with you always”

“I killed a lot of people,” Youngjae says. It is so clear but blurry at the same time. He said what?

“You know I don't care… So, please, Youngjae, please!”

“You say it first--”

“I love you!” He answers confidently. Even if Youngjae doesn't reply back, my chest is heavier, I feel like I'm going to melt with the chair. They kiss again, the horrible sound of their mouths and saliva, I don't even want to imagine it but their picture is printed in my head even if I don't know this Jaebeom dude.

Why the fuck am I crying? This is so lame, I'm not sure what should I think, what should I do? Are they going to kill me now?

“Let's go to your room,” Jaebeom says.

“I said no.”

“I don't only want sex. I want to show you something”

I can hear them walking. I can hear their footsteps in the machine and from outside, I shiver. What are they going to do with me? “Don't tell me you already killed him” Youngjae says with the most plain tone, a tone I haven't heard him talk before but is just as if he doesn't really care about me. I see it now.

The transmission gets cut and now there is no sound at all. Any moment they'll be here. My chest is going to pop out from my mouth, my ears hurt so much, I can't stop crying.

The door opens in front of me and yes, what I thought it was an awful nightmare, it's actually true, is Youngjae, just as I saw him before with marks on his arms and neck, he is wearing gray baggy pants and a black tank top, he is in front of me and looks at my face maybe worried, I don't know what to think anymore, he is full of lies.

Jaebeom comes in after him and is nothing of what I imagined, his face looks even softer than Youngjae but his eyes pierce me in million pieces, I want to scream terrorized but my mouth is dry. Youngjae seems to not believe that I'm actually here.

Jaebeom wants me dead, no doubts. Youngjae says no words, the other guy asks “Why are you saying nothing?”

“We-- Should get out of here right now!”

“Why? Do you love him too????”

“No. He is a freaking security guard!" he scolds him, "YoungK?” Is he talking to me? “Did you call for backup?” yes I did, I told my roommate to look for me if I don't come back in two hours. I nod. "We need to get out of here. The cops are coming!”

Jaebeom seems confused but he does whatever Youngjae says. He seems to give up on me and they run to pick up their stuff from the drawers and under the bed. Jaebeom gets the walkie-talkie from before and then smiles at me. “I hope you enjoyed the show” his dark eyes spear me again.

“Youngjae…” I speak softly, the few sounds my mouth can talk. “Tell me this is a lie…”

He ignores what I said. “Yesterday I wanted to kill you,” he says straight forward, “but you reminded me of someone else and I couldn't”

“Why do you do this...?”

“Because it's fun.” he smiles as always but I don't recognize him anymore.

“Jesus Christ, Youngjae! I thought… I thought we were at least friends!”

“Yeah… I knew it wasn't going to be fun to kill someone like you. That's why I let you go.”

“You're crazy…”

“I don't expect you to understand my head, I tried, many people have tried and no one gets it. No one… only him…” and they both smile to each other.

“Youngjae, he is distracting you, we gotta go”

“Alright, alright, grumpy man”

“Youngjae!” he stops and Jaebeom just rolls his eyes up. 

“What?”

“Don't go. Let the police get you, please stop doing this, I can help you out and---”

Youngjae is laughing in a hurtful way, he is not laughing at me, he just seems to be broken inside. “Do you think I haven't tried? You have seen me in the clinic, they think I'm crazy, they'll just lock me in a white room with three meals full of pills. Jaebeom helped me out right before I went insane…”

“Youngjae…” Jaebeom calls him impatiently. Youngjae walks to his arms and they kiss for the nth time, erasing the last drops of faith I had. My eyes shut close strongly, I can't keep watching them… they're not even humans, they're--

“Grab his head for me” I hear Youngjae's voice.

“Yes babe, but, do we have time?”

“It will be quick. Grab it and I'll cut the carotid”

“No. Youngjae, please!” I beg, I shamelessly beg. Even if there is no point, I don't want to die like this.

“Let me look at his eyes” Jaebeom says, he really hates me so much; his hands squeeze my face hard.

“Do whatever you want” Youngjae gives him permission.

“Hey. YoungK, look at me” I can't see anything more than his blurry face through my teary eyes, I'm going breathless, I'm going to die, my lungs are giving up with air, my heart is going to pop out of my chest. “What did you like about him? His smile? His eyes? The way he cares about others and not himself? Is it his body? His ass? Did you think you were special to him? Let me teach you a lesson..."

From all the things in my head currently going on, I didn't expect the moment he kneeled in front of me and then leaned towards me, still grabbing my head with both hands, the same lips I heard before from the walkie-talkie were taking mine with hate and bitterness. My eyes are open, Jaebeom's eyes are not, he is enjoying whatever kink they share. I can't breath, he is literally eating me.

My head falls back, when I look up, I see Youngjae from above smiling over us, a knife in his right hand shines and as a lighting, it comes all the way down to my neck. Jaebeom keeps biting my mouth and I'm not sure if the blood flowing on my skin comes from the knife in my throat or from my lips.

I don't even scream; I faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More next week :D


	4. Part 04

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ YoungK's POV ]

The beeping sounds of a machine wake me up, I'm no longer tied up, I'm lying down, my arms are relaxed on my sides but I don't really know where. I'm on a gurney in a big white room, I try to look around but my neck hurts. I'm looking at my surroundings only with my eyes, there's bandages all over my neck and chest. There's no doctor or nurse near but when I think I'm alone, a man with a dark green color coat comes inside through the door and shows in front of me.

He asks “How are you feeling?” My attempt to shrug my shoulders fails when they hurt a lot for some reason, he understands what I'm saying though. “You're lucky we found you on time… I wouldn't like to put pressure on you, the doctor says you are in a delicate state because you lost so much blood, but… we're running out of clues. Do you remember anything about the people who kidnapped you?”

“Who?” I’m confused and I'm serious. What happened?

“Don't you remember anything?”

“No,” Not at all. “I was on my way to meet my friend… Uh... Jaebeom.” that name triggers something not so pleasant inside of me. My head hurts when I try to remember, that was his name, doesn't it? "Wait. Where is he??”

“Jaebeom? I have no record of any…” he looks into the papers he had. “Was that the name of the kidnaper?”

"What? No, no! He was in danger and I went to protect him and then… I...” I went to his house, he wasn't picking up the phone, someone was at his window… Why are there two silhouettes in my head?

“That's everything you remember?” and he writes it down on his notepad.

“Yeah… Do you know where Jaebeom is?”

“We are doing our best to find him"

"Who are you?” I ask curiously, he looks so young; is he a cop?

“I'm detective Park, Park Jaehyung”

  
  


My memory is coming back slowly but I still can't figure it out who's the second person in my head. I touch the scar on my lips again and my cheeks burn because I've never had a kiss like that, I try to remember what happened but there's many empty spaces that I can not fill.

When Y@#%-- when Jaebeom and I kissed, I don't remember-- No, it is not possible that he would have bitten me, just to think about it… it's ridiculous.

Now I basically live in the hospital now. Apparently Jaebeom and I were kidnapped and that villain person stabbed me in my neck, near the carotid arteries but not quite there because otherwise I wouldn't be here telling what happened.

They're still looking for him though, maybe I hurt my head too hard but I can't be pessimistic, I know he is somewhere alive. He has too. He is strong, he can defend himself. After his therapy sessions, we would always talk, he was always down but one day, he was happy again and I even congratulated him because therapy was working out. He told me he found a way to free himself. I was so happy for him...

Detective Jaehyung has helped me too. We have helped each other, while he does the best to bring me good food and my university books, I have told him everything I can remember so far. I'm the only clue he has about the case, he says I'm lucky to be alive.

I'm eating pudding with a little spoon when he is walking in circles in the room. I watch him and I want to talk to him but I know he is not listening to me, he is thinking again of the kidnaper I guess. I wish I could remember more.

“YoungK, you have good records at college, you're studying Medicine Majoring in Criminology, so I really think you get me when I say how important it is for me to tell me everything you know about this Jaebeom".

“I told you everything I know about him. He was a patient at the clinic I’m working at, he was in psychological therapy for almost two years and he was getting better. He told me he was there because of an abusive ex boyfriend and he was trying to move on from his past. Yesterday… I mean, a week ago, I told him I was worried because of the killer that was near the area and I offered to take him home. Next day… well, that's why I'm here”

“My records though, don't match with anyone called like Jaebeom...” he looks tired, we always have this same conversation. “I know you are bored of the same questions, but maybe if one day you slightly remember anything else..."

“I will tell you, I know” I know he is doing his best. “But you're telling me at the clinic there is no patient called Jaebeom? That's impossible. Did you ask the doctor? They have records of all the patients, don't they?”

“No one". He looks disappointed. “We also checked other doctor's patients and there's no one either… Don't you think… Don't you think he might have been lying to you…?”

“No… he doesn't… I mean, he wouldn't. Jaebeom would never-- I mean, I saw him at the clinic talking with that doctor many many times, I'm sure” my head is getting weird flashbacks again. I see Jaebeom lying on the floor, all naked with bites all over his body. The place is spinning and it hurts.

“YoungK? Younghyun!?” he looks at me concerned, my pudding falls to the ground, I think I'll black out again. "Brian!? Brian! Stay with me!”

My heart goes fast, one more time, I can't breath, the detective takes my hands, then shakes my shoulders but I can't hear a thing.

The room is getting dark, I'm back in that soundproof room, I'm tied again and I hear steps outside. The door opens, I can't see their faces, one of them grabs my face and the other one has an immense knife. Who are they? Who's Brian? Jae told me to not go, to stay with him… Jae is my friend.

Last thing I see is doctors getting into the room and Jae getting dragged outside. I feel sorry for him. He did nothing. Please, bring him back.

I totally black out again.

  
  
  


_ I go back in time, to the first moment I saw him at the clinic. Most people look sad when they start seeing the doctor and me being working there for almost a year, I was really used to it. I don't know why I ever crossed eyes with him, I don't know what made me smile at him but I'm pretty sure when he smiled back to me, it was then when I fell in his trap. _

_ I saw him go through the doors to maybe never see him again… But I was hoping, deep inside me, for him to come back. What a sick thought. A psychiatric clinic, me hoping for him to come back, that would only mean he needed treatment and something bad happened in his head. _

_ I waited. Everyday I was expecting him to cross those white doors, to see him, to smile at him and for him to smile back at me. _

_ He came back in a month. _

_ “If I ever become a rockstar, I want to be called YoungK” I'm talking with my best friend and workmate. _

_ “What a ridiculous name. I prefer your english name, Brian! What's wrong with that?" _

_ “But I'm not Brian, Younghyung was the name I was given by my parents and I think it's better to choose something more meaningful…" _

_ We keep talking nonsense while we patrol the hallways, it's our normal routine, we knew the risk of our jobs but we were well paid anyways. It wasn't that hard, nothing extremely dangerous had happened in our shifts. _

_ “Remember the guy you told me about?” he had news. _

_ “Yeah…? Did he come back!? Where is he!?" I didn't intend to reveal how desperate I was, my friend looked at me surprised but he kept going as if nothing anormal was happening. _

_ “He's with the doctor… Younghyung, please don't talk to him?” _

_ “What? Why not?” _

_ “What do you mean? He is a patient! We need to be professionals here and don't interfere. I'm sure you are aware that he is probably getting treatment for a reason, don't you think? It might be dangerous” _

_ “Don't you think I might help him somehow, Jae?” _

_ “No!??? Not at all!! I'm serious!” _

_ “Me too.” _

_ “I don't understand” of course he would never understand, he didn't witness the connection we had that afternoon. _

_ “Okay. Okay… maybe I'm going too fast” that seemed calmer, maybe there's some sense in me after all. “But I don't think it would be bad to be nice to this guy. They all need to smile, doesn't it?” _

_ “Younghyun…” he wanted to follow his reprimendant, I stopped him, my friend only wanted to help me and I ignored his warnings. _

_ “Jae, if I'm ever in danger, I know you'll be there for me, don't you?" _

  
  


_ Probably he was going to say something else, maybe the words I needed to step back but my eyes went to my right, to the door opening in front of us, when the guy that was going to change my life showed up. _

_ His eyes were sad, even so, he smiled at me. He crossed the outside door again, I was going to lose my chance. _

_ My friend, Jae, he held my arm but nothing could stop him. I crossed the door too, behind him, he looked back at me, he, still smiling, stopped walking. _

_ “I suppose you want to talk to me?” his voice was angelic. _

_ “I-- I mean… You… I'm YoungK" I said the wrong name by mistake, I was embarrassed, but he did not laugh making fun of me. He turned his body to face me, my face was probably burning in red. _

_ He smiled as if it was the first time and said. “My name is…” _

  
  
  
  


“YOUNGJAE!” I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm still at the hospital with bandages in my neck and torso. It's dark and I'm struggling to calm my lungs, I'm sweating cold, this nightmare… It's my memories coming back.

Next to me, sitting by my side there's a figure, someone that makes me calm down, to watch him sleeping with his frowned eyebrows. His brown hair slipping through his eyelashes, his nose and barely touches his lips. He worked hard today.

“Jae, you're a liar…” my eyes are full of tears. “You're not a detective, aren't you? Why are you not normal? You should've said  _ “I told you” _ because you were right all this time… Youngjae did this to me...”

My own hand touches my neck and I feel like it’s not mine, it feels so weird to have this reminder of the mistakes I made, the stubbornness I was involved with, the fake happiness I was feeling.

“Police wanted to ask you so many questions..." Jaehyung was sleep-talking. “I was not going to let them… It was not your fault… It is not your fault…”

So all this time he just wanted to protect me. He pretended to be a detective, I can see him arguing with the police officer to let him stay by my side. From the beginning… Since the first moment I placed my eyes on Youngjae… If I only had listened…

“Not your fault… YoungK… Not your fault…”

Tomorrow I will face everything that I've done. My mistakes and delusions, the things I did wrong that lead me to this situation.

I'm ready.

Thanks to Jae, I'm ready.

**Author's Note:**

> This one has been post in [twitter](https://twitter.com/Mar_sonist/status/1281800724775673857) first and I liked the reactions that's why I wanted to keep it going
> 
> Next chapter in a few hours or until my tomorrow in 12 hours from now because I have it finished and I'm happy with it uwu  
> The rest will be released later this week or when I feel ready.


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